I'm really good at writing letters because I feel I express myself properly. I feel it helps me get closer to the roots of my problems. My awesomely irresponsible problems!
Let me start off with saying that you guys make me feel like an utter imbecile. I would respectfully like to add "Fuck You" because it is obvious that I'm totally envious of your abilities to be on time to work while still having productive lives that are not under constant judgement. Good Job!
However... That was all sarcasm. I was flattering you because I'm a liar!
I am going to tell you why it is way fucking cooler and devastatingly SEXIER to be irresponsible. Not that I would know what it was like to be any other way.
1. We don't have our healths to worry about!
EX: we can get high and drunk way before 10 on friday night then, forget to feed the cats, neglect to make ourselves dinner or do ANYTHING constructive around the house, and it wouldn't feel like we were failures because we were playing awesome video games and laughing joyously over Arrested Development!! LAUGHING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH! This is a fact... Already we're having more fun and living longer. Do we need any more reasons? We do? Fine.
2. There's an overload of drama that keeps our minds sharp and ready for action at any given time. Conclusion: We're fucking genius ninjas!
EX: Susan, was acquired in a super stealthy mercy kidnapping. No one knew we had even the slightest intention...but we totally did! Mr. and Mrs. GoodCredit are fuck ups, they can't elude the truth as skillfully. (to clarify, susan is a huge cardboard cut out of a cat that was stolen on a very drunken evening. there was a butterfly knife and a festival involved. tequila. the end. that totally didn't clarify anything) Isn't that mind stimulating? You can't get That by paying your bills on time.
3. Sex is more awesome when you think you might die at any given moment. Think about it.
EX: The past three nights. I won't go into it cause i'm not a hussy... but you wanna know more, don't you? See, I just seduced you responsible people. Danger is sexy. Like Carmen San Diego or Cillian Murphy.
That's it. That's what's so cool about being irresponsible.
I totally didn't just write this because I felt guilty about anything. I don't feel guilty about spending $20 at CVS, I'm a grown woman. I can do what I want, plus I really needed most of those things. Well just the cotton balls and the green tea, I didn't really need the nail polishes. They were two shades of colors I already own, but what if I run out? That would suck. I don't want to be sad about nail polish. Fuck.
Sincerely,
Miss High-right-at-this-moment-sitting-on-her-high-horse-who-is becoming-quite-small
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